just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
