never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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