No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
