At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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