This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
