It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
