How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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