The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
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We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
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Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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