Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
