So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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