By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he fucked my hip out of place.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize