Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
