Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
