Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
