tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
