i was born a porn star she said
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
