We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize