I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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