eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
