i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
