I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
