and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
