And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
