My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize