so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
