My hand turned me down
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I have already put on my inside pants.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
