I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
