in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
