Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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