Your face is a jimmy john
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
