is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
