this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
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We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
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How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize