Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
