I faked an abortion last night.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
well you can't waste a boner
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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