There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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