I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I want her autograph on my taint
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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