Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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