girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
