I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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