dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
