Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
