did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
