I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
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just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
50% drunk capacity currently
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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