I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
