i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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