We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
