well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
