she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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