he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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