Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Damn victory sex feels great
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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