yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize