we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
