They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
