Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
