belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
