You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
