We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
