my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
