Sorry, I don't speak sober.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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