real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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