This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
