You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
