if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
